


The Worst Pickup Lines Are The Best Pickup Lines

by OreoPromises



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Pickup Lines, Student Kihyun, coffee shop AU, evil bestie Minhyuk, kpop, oh the innuendos, wonho's love for ramyeon is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 06:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10182374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OreoPromises/pseuds/OreoPromises
Summary: A bored Minhyuk is a Minhyuk in his most diabolical from, and when Yoo Kihyun, the boy Wonho has been crushing on for months now, wanders in to the coffee shop they work in, Minhyuk suddenly finds a way to cure his boredom.Based on the Coffee Shop AU prompt- "I write a bad pickup line on your cup every time I'm your barista."





	

**Author's Note:**

> E

Minhyuk’s sigh broke Wonho out of a daydream, his best friend slumping on a bar stool in front of the counter as his break started. The two had met when, as the poor and caffeine-driven students they were, they’d started working at a coffee shop near campus. It had been a couple months since then, and they’d gotten so close in that time Minhyuk kept saying all the girls Wonho served were glaring at him, going green with envy, thinking they were dating. Wonho at first thought he was lying, until he himself had been stared down by a hairsprayed gang of tweens last week that Minhyuk had been serving. He still saw the light flare off the ends of their perfectly manicured nails when he closed his eyes.  
“Hyung, what the hell? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Minhyuk’s husky voice broke him out of yet another daydream. Get your head in the game Wonho, it would be so much easier for the tweens to get you when you’re not paying attention.  
Shaking himself, Wonho grinned at his friend sprawled across the counter. “Just remembered the very real threat of being dismembered by your fanclub.”  
“Again?”  
“You didn’t see them Minhyuk, I thought they were gonna drown me in six orders of de-caffe Caramel Macchiato with peppermint syrup.”  
Minhyuk tilted his head thoughtfully. “Not a bad way to go.” He reasoned. Wonho pulled a face.  
“You heard me say decaf right?”  
The younger boy laughed, only to be immediately death-glared at by one of Wonho’s regulars. He mouthed a quick ‘sorry’, trying to smother his giggles as he turned back to his friend.  
“Woops.” Wonho giggled, taking someone’s order quickly. Minhyuk kept talking. “Two observations- one, seriously save me please you heartless monster because whenever I look at you I feel wrathful eyes on the back of my head and two, help me out hyung because apart from being an endangered species I am also losing my mind with boredom.” Hoseok sighed, but laughed when Minhyuk grumbled, spreading himself out on top of the counter so he was practically lying on his stomach.  
And then Wonho was shoving Minhyuk off the counter fast enough the younger boy had to clutch onto it with all his strength to stop his stool toppling and falling to his death. 

Because he’d just walked in.

Yoo Kihyun was a chemistry major that sang at live mic events at the bar a few streets away, the new trendy one where everything was beachwood and steel, where the lights were blue and pink ‘mood lights’, and also where students that actually had social lives went to get trashed on weekends. Wonho knew all of this from one of his late nights stalking Kihyun’s instagram, and was fairly certain Kihyun didn’t even know his name, despite the name tag. Every time Kihyun came here he was heaving a backpack with his laptop in it, and would spend hours no doubt finishing late essays like the rest of the students here, ordering coffee after coffee and unconsciously humming to the music he was listening to.  
Minhyuk shot Wonho a betrayed look, rubbing his abused arms, but kindly stalked away to the staff room so he wouldn’t see Wonho embarrass himself. The demon didn’t hesitate to send his buddy two massive thumbs up before he left though. Wonho silently prayed to ramyeon that Kihyun didn’t see that.  
He didn’t. Kihyun was staring at his phone as he walked up to the counter. Thank you, wise ramyeon God’s. As his customer blinked at his phone, stopped not quite at the counter, Wonho took the opportunity to look at him without being caught. Kihyun had dyed his hair pink since his last visit, a soft candyfloss colour that made looked surprisingly edgy on such a tiny person. As usual he wore tight black jeans, ripped to shreds (seriously, how many pairs of those did he own?) and a hoodie, oversized in the way that was clearly planned. SHIT.  
Wonho’s eyes darted away as they looked straight into Kihyun’s, looking right back at him, eyebrow raised. Wonho forced himself to look at the younger boy (God bless Instagram) as he asked for his order, but couldn’t seem to make it to his face, instead looking at the thin silver hoops in the boy’s ears, much like Wonho’s own.  
“A black coffee please.” Kihyun said, looking back down at his phone again. Wonho’s innards were screaming.  
“Coming right up!” Since when was my voice that high. “If you’d like to pick a table I’ll bring it right over.” Wonho hoped the smile he flashed was the dazzling, weak at the knees kind, not the would you like to see my snake collection, it's in my basement kind of smile. From the offput look it was met with, this was apparently too much to hope for.  
Minhyuk burst through the doors again as soon as Kihyun had put his headphones in. He was giggling, eyes bright, far too happy for this situation for Wonho’s comfort.  
“So?” He prompted. Wonho felt his face fall a little and busied himself with making the coffee.  
“What do you mean so? The same thing that normally happens happened- he didn’t even look at me.” Minhyuk sighed a pained sigh and leaned closer, head close to Wonho’s, blue-silver locks mixing with white. I should probably dye my hair, Wonho thought, maybe less people would think we were dating if I dyed my hair…Wait, what if Kihyun thinks we’re dating?  
“You know I love you, hyung, but sometimes you’re a bigger dumbass than Jooheon.” Wonho faked a gasp. “You clearly think he’s cute, go talk to him.”  
“I’m working, Minnie.” Wonho knew his excuse was as seethrough as Minhyuk’s wardrobe, but didn’t care. Kihyun’s keys clicked in the background.  
“Fine” Minhyuk sighed. “Don’t talk to him. Just do something.”  
“Like what?” Hoseok threw a towel down, exasperated. “Write cheesy pick up lines on his coffees?” Minhyuk's lips made a comical 0 shape, eyes lighting up. Wonho wondered why he’d decided to befriend this caffeinated lunatic.  
“Ohmygod you need to do that.” Wonho glared at him, pouring Kihyun’s coffee into the stupid paper mugs they sold here. “What? If you don’t, I will” Minhyuk threatened, grabbing a sharpie and brandishing it like a sword.  
Without thinking Hoseok slapped it away from him, only for it to go flying and hit a customer right in the forehead. Luckily, said customer was friends with Minhyuk, and didn’t take offence. Kihyun’s head whipped up at the sudden loud laughter the two were trying (and failing) to suppress.  
Damn he’s pretty.  
Minhyuk was looking at him, eyebrows raised, amused. Wonho entertained the idea that his friend was psychic far too often. He sighed.  
“What have I got to lose, right?” Minhyuk clapped excitedly, grinning so much it looked painful. He handed the marker over. “A wise man once said, when it comes to pick up lines, the worse they are the better.” Okay, that had been Wonho who said that, but he’d been cheering up Jooheon after a rejection. Lying. Now he’d been won over by Minhyuk’s idea though, why not commit?

Hello, my name’s Wonho. I’m the one you find most attractive in this coffee shop ;).

“Christ, who knew you were such a horrible person?”  
Wonho shrugged. “You started this.” He dropped the coffee of at Kihyun’s table and tried not to sprint back to the counter. They both held their breaths as Kiyhun grabbed the mug, without taking his eyes off his laptop.  
“Oooh” Minhyuk breathed. “Didn’t bat a pretty eyelid. Next one will have to be stronger.” Wonho unexpectedly felt a swell of competitiveness.  
***  
Half an hour later Minhyuk took Kihyun’s offer again, and Wonho made his hot chocolate quickly.  
“Let’s see it then, let’s see it.”  Wonho spun the cup so his friend could read the writing scrawled up it.

I’ve lost my number, can I have yours instead? 

Wonho took Minhyuk’s eye roll and tut a good enough response to send him away with the mug.

 

A couple hours later, with Wonho seriously questioning whether his crush was a mafia leader- seriously, how can he order this much coffee every time he comes in and not go bankrupt? He’d ordered another two black coffees and then a tea, all of which Wonho had scribbled bad pickup lines over.  
Black coffee number 1: This coffee is hot, but that’s okay, because you’re hotter  
Black coffee number 2: Are you coffee because I’ve bean thinking about you a latte  
Tea: Where they not your cup of tea? How ‘bout this one- If you were ground coffee, you’d be espresso. Cause you’re so fine.

Wonho kind of hates himself a little, but Minhyuk’s been crying with laughter as they suggest the worst pick up lines to put on the next mug, and he’s in too good a mood to worry about ruining his chances with the dreamy boy that always takes the window seat. Also, Kihyun hasn’t seemed to notice any of the messages, promoting further hysterics from Minhyuk as he takes sip after sip without looking at the cups. Before Wonho knows it, Kihyun’s packing up his things, and the boy walks straight passed Wonho as he serves the table near him.  
An-  
And did Wonho just imagine that or did Kihyun just wink? No, he didn’t imagine it, because Kihyun’s smiling (Wonho notices how feline he looks when he smiles, and grins too, even though Kihyun’s walked passed him) and handing something to Minhyuk before walking out the door without a word. Minhyuk glances down at the table, confused, and then he starts laughing, his mouth making the shocked little 0 shape in between giggles.  
When Wonho walks back behind the counter he finds a piece of paper scrawled with tiny, neat black ink.

Wonho,  
I like the way you expresso yourself.  
As you can probably tell, I like coffee- nice puns by the way. I always thought men were like coffee- the best ones are dark, rich and keep you up at night ;)  
Kihyun.

Under that, there’s a phone number.


End file.
